Feeling I thought I didn't Have
by NeverSmiles
Summary: This is a BeyondBirthdayXNear story I wrote. I might continue this and turn it into a yaoi but...I jus don't know. Enjoy


Things at Whammy's house have changed since I got back. I had changed in my time away from Whammy's. L was dead so near had taken over as L, and Mello and Matt were gone for whatever reason. Many of you believe that I am dead. But I assure you I am alive. After all, in most cases, there is a small lie in each and every believable thing told. The Los Angeles Beyond Birthday Murder Case brings back many memories, good and bad. The acts committed there were amusing and fun for the time being, but I never was truly satisfied with myself until after it ended. In the records, the man named Beyond Birthday is dead. But again, I am not dead. I wouldn't be writing this if I was now would I? After the LABBMC was over I was in jail. To put it plainly when I escaped there was no one to change the record saying that I was alive, because I killed everyone that could have done so without a trace. It was too easy. Why did I want to escape you ask? Well it wasn't because I still wanted to surpass L at all. I no longer have a desire to do that. I did not want to become L anymore; I wanted to erase all possibilities for L to continue. So after I got out of my prison I returned to Whammy's House.  
My room on the farthest side of the house was left completely untouched and unmonitored, which was strange for this place, they always had every room under surveillance. But after about 20 minutes of sitting in the middle of the small room I realized I was not being watched, which was very good. I decided it was better not to use my door as a mean of getting around because of surveillance in the hallways, so I used the windows to get in and out of the rooms. A month or so had passed and I had successfully killed all of the minor successors to L one by one. All the ones you never hear about because they're not important. Luckily there weren't that many to begin with. All that was left now were the main three…or two, Mello and Near, and then that extra gamer boy, Matt. They were the only thing stopping me from stopping the great detective L. I had a plan in my head that would have worked perfectly for me, except for one flaw I never would have realized. No matter how hard I thought about the plan this would have never come up to me.  
Matt and Mello were dead now and that left Near weakened by sadness. I thought I would have used this to my advantage but I didn't. Not on free will did I not use this, it was under emotions that I thought I had stored away years and years ago that I did not kill Near.  
I had to be extra careful in the execution of my plan to kill Near. Whammy's house had upped the surveillance outside and inside. But once I into his room I was suddenly unable to advance in my plans. I saw his small body in his bed and he looked so…peaceful. His face portrayed no emotion except contentment. I made my way over to the side of his bed so I could get a better look at him. In horror I realized why I couldn't kill him. Just the thought of possessing such a weakness shocked me to where I took a few steps backward and almost lost my balance and fell over. I regained my balance by griping the bedside table. Then I pilled out a small cloth so I could wipe my fingerprints away. Apparently that had made a noise and the boy stirred in his sleep. I froze in fear that he would wake up, well guess what, he did. He opened his eyes and sat up slowly, then his gaze found me. I could tell what he was thinking, he thought I was L. He looked my up and down then looked into my eyes. His grey eyes filled with a mixture of shock, horror, and confusion. His voice was weak and a little shaky when he finally spoke, "Beyond Birthday…?" I was a little surprise when he spoke my name, I wasn't expecting him to know who I was and…I wasn't expecting to like the way it sounded. My only response was a small nod and my hand clenched around the knife I held. He must have noticed my hand move because his gaze flickered there for a small moment and I saw fear flash and realization in his eyes. "Y-you killed them…didn't you," his voice even sounded afraid now. I wasn't going to say or do anything. If I told him anything I would loose. I smirked, put the knife back in my pocket, and took a step towered him. His flinch almost made he feel hurt but I ignored it and crouched next to his bed. His already big eyes went huge when I took his face in my hands and kissed his soft lips. He tasted sweet, almost as good as my favorite jam, maybe even sweeter. The ne thing that he did that surprised me was he didn't make any move to get me away from him. He didn't participate in my kiss which disappointed me a little but I didn't force him to do anything. I pulled away from him and stood up, kissed his forehead, and turned to leave. "I won't kill you Near…I won't kill you because I love you," the three words I never expected to ever say came out before I could stop them. Then I turned and left through his window, just the way I had come in, closed it and left back to my room. I knew that I had left no fingerprints anywhere, but I did leave the words, the touch and the kiss.


End file.
